Big Enough for Ya?! So the other day at work, I was working with someone that I see frequently. He's an excellent student, and I enjoy working with him mind you. But last time as he was clearing away his materials he leaned over the desk and asked, "Tell me something, are you engaged or married?". I was taken back by this and found myself unable to answer until I looked down and realized during the session in my usual state of ADD, I had placed my ring on my left ring finger. After this realization I respond, "no, not in the least bit".With a great sigh he states in response: "Thank goodness, because if I saw any girl with an engagement ring like that I would deck the guy. A girl deserves a very large diamond!"
*crickets*
Now, this doesn't really surprise me in the least bit. I live in Utah for heck's sake. We're the Wedding Central, where the people that live around you are wonder why you don't have two kids and six years of marriage under your belt by the time you are 25. So by these standards, I have quickly risen to the rank of Spinster at the brittle old age of 22.
It's interesting though. This isn't the first time I've gotten this kind of commentary on the plain silver ring that I wear on the traditional left finger unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally.. stupid stalkers). Plenty of men and women alike have commented that a simple metal ring that twists into a knot is simply not good enough for an engagement/wedding band. Often they are relieved to find that a man did not dare give that to me for such a purpose. What is with this cultural phenomenon? People across nations and oceans consider the larger and far more expensive ring to be absolutely necessary to indicate to others that they have a bound commitment to a partner in matrimony. This status symbol of having a partner that can provide such a large and extravagant ring speaks eons about how much they can provide at home. How very primal we are, has it always been this way?
The first evidence seen of Wedding rings is in the Ancient Egyptian culture. Hemp was wound about the left finger after a couple was married to indicate that they were married. The circle represents eternity and the left finger was chosen for two reasons: first, it is used less often than the other fingers and therefore the ring would last longer, and secondly it is believed that the vein that runs through that finger (vena amoris) runs directly back to the heart and is therefore automatically a symbol of love. After the invasion of Alexander the Great, the tradition was carried into the world of the Ancient Greeks, and from there became a part of the Roman world (because we know those Romans were just wannabe Greeks, right?). Europeans took on this long lived tradition, and through decree of the Catholic Church switched to the right hand because most people were right handed. To this day quite a few Europeans wear their wedding bands on their right hand instead of the left. Interestingly enough, fingers were switched about in the Victorian Age in England, where it was popular for women to wear extremely large diamond rings on their thumbs instead of the ring finger.
Right now it's expected in American culture that a woman receive a single ring for engagement to be
worn on this left ring finger. Later on a much larger and more elaborate ring is either added or replaces this other ring. I think the standard right now for men is that the ring must be valued at two month's worth of his paycheck. YIKES! Soooo.. Apparently I have to get a paperweight sized rock or the man that gives it to me is held in low regard? Huh? What if I don't want him to starve and go homeless because he spent two months paying for a ring that I'll most likely end up losing? Hey, what can I say.. I'm a ditz.
The ring I currently wear on that finger I hand-picked in the streets of Venice from an extremely nice street-vendor. I spent months striving to pay for this trip and I've spent an entire lifetime lusting after the city it came from. That ring means more to me than some giant sized rock that was most likely dug up in some third world country by an enslaved six year old. I'll always have a reminder of that time in my life where I was free to go where I wanted to and enjoy the strength it took for me to seek that out on my own. And yet no one has ever asked me what the ring means to me, they just assume because of the lack of a precious metal or stone that it is automatically not worth being on that finger.
In some ways I can see why someone would think a girl deserves a very large diamond. But I've been cursed with that hopeless romantic g
ene, and it just doesn't seem nearly as important as it would to listen and get something that is symbolic of the relationship or person. It's interesting how we've come from winding hemp around a finger to demanding the highest qualities of metals and largest rocks possible. I swear if I end up with one of these large rocks it'll be like living through A Christmas Story and I'll somehow manage to hurt my eye in some awkward and inconcievable way.
*crickets*
Now, this doesn't really surprise me in the least bit. I live in Utah for heck's sake. We're the Wedding Central, where the people that live around you are wonder why you don't have two kids and six years of marriage under your belt by the time you are 25. So by these standards, I have quickly risen to the rank of Spinster at the brittle old age of 22.
It's interesting though. This isn't the first time I've gotten this kind of commentary on the plain silver ring that I wear on the traditional left finger unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally.. stupid stalkers). Plenty of men and women alike have commented that a simple metal ring that twists into a knot is simply not good enough for an engagement/wedding band. Often they are relieved to find that a man did not dare give that to me for such a purpose. What is with this cultural phenomenon? People across nations and oceans consider the larger and far more expensive ring to be absolutely necessary to indicate to others that they have a bound commitment to a partner in matrimony. This status symbol of having a partner that can provide such a large and extravagant ring speaks eons about how much they can provide at home. How very primal we are, has it always been this way?
The first evidence seen of Wedding rings is in the Ancient Egyptian culture. Hemp was wound about the left finger after a couple was married to indicate that they were married. The circle represents eternity and the left finger was chosen for two reasons: first, it is used less often than the other fingers and therefore the ring would last longer, and secondly it is believed that the vein that runs through that finger (vena amoris) runs directly back to the heart and is therefore automatically a symbol of love. After the invasion of Alexander the Great, the tradition was carried into the world of the Ancient Greeks, and from there became a part of the Roman world (because we know those Romans were just wannabe Greeks, right?). Europeans took on this long lived tradition, and through decree of the Catholic Church switched to the right hand because most people were right handed. To this day quite a few Europeans wear their wedding bands on their right hand instead of the left. Interestingly enough, fingers were switched about in the Victorian Age in England, where it was popular for women to wear extremely large diamond rings on their thumbs instead of the ring finger.
Right now it's expected in American culture that a woman receive a single ring for engagement to be
worn on this left ring finger. Later on a much larger and more elaborate ring is either added or replaces this other ring. I think the standard right now for men is that the ring must be valued at two month's worth of his paycheck. YIKES! Soooo.. Apparently I have to get a paperweight sized rock or the man that gives it to me is held in low regard? Huh? What if I don't want him to starve and go homeless because he spent two months paying for a ring that I'll most likely end up losing? Hey, what can I say.. I'm a ditz.The ring I currently wear on that finger I hand-picked in the streets of Venice from an extremely nice street-vendor. I spent months striving to pay for this trip and I've spent an entire lifetime lusting after the city it came from. That ring means more to me than some giant sized rock that was most likely dug up in some third world country by an enslaved six year old. I'll always have a reminder of that time in my life where I was free to go where I wanted to and enjoy the strength it took for me to seek that out on my own. And yet no one has ever asked me what the ring means to me, they just assume because of the lack of a precious metal or stone that it is automatically not worth being on that finger.
In some ways I can see why someone would think a girl deserves a very large diamond. But I've been cursed with that hopeless romantic g
ene, and it just doesn't seem nearly as important as it would to listen and get something that is symbolic of the relationship or person. It's interesting how we've come from winding hemp around a finger to demanding the highest qualities of metals and largest rocks possible. I swear if I end up with one of these large rocks it'll be like living through A Christmas Story and I'll somehow manage to hurt my eye in some awkward and inconcievable way.
posted by Nogias at 5:54 PM
2 Comments:
K. Oh my heck! your not married yet, you better get on it before your hips start to spread and you can't produce you own soccer team. WHAT WILL YOUR NEIGHBORS THINK?!
coupla things, actually its 3 months salary, so, unlike most utahns that get engaged, if you actually make a decent wage it could costcha quit a bit.
Although I've had my own experiences with wedding ring disses. My ring is tiny, but it holds so much sentimental value i bawled my freakin head off when ryan gave it to me. Its my paternal grandmothers ring, so its approx 50 years old and its something i remember seeing my entire life. When i went in to get it cleand and resized they also said they'd give it an appraisal. "Its ONLY worth about $500" um. its worth more than that to me, just a smidge. that ring has seen tonz more than any of the rings in your entire freekin store! So. Yeah i can relate to your ring from venice. Doesn't it piss you off that its lost its symbolism. It doesn't matter what it stands for as long as its BIG!
Deffinatly. It would mean the entire world to me if a man thought to give me something like my grandmother's ring. I mean seriously.. Giant rock, or someone contemplating what means the most to you in this world and trying to be a part of that? One? The other? Both for some people, but who knows.
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